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I've been single now for about 3 years
I don't know if it's them or I'm just a fucking handful.
I'm going to go with probably them
I love the thought t of being loved, I like it when I'm in love,I enjoy having a partner, Maybe I just haven't met the right partner
Or maybe I meant to be non-monogamous
I have absolutely no idea?
What I will tell you about being single.is in the past few years more than any I've had encounters with dates that are in a poly relationship.
I've also been approached by couples,
Maybe I give off that vibe, but there are 2 sides to that coin
there is a couple's that will bring in a 3rd
and there are also couples that want to sleep with other couples,
every time I've been approached
they were only Interested if I had a partner & we were a couple lol
Do lots of people want open relationships?
The idea of consensual non-monogamy—having more than one romantic partner, with the knowledge and consent of all involved—is gaining more and more space on our radar. The 2010 book Sex at Dawn, which questioned whether we’re really hardwired for monogamy, was a bestseller, and a cascade of shows such as House of Cards, You Me Her, Girls and Orphan Black has filled our living rooms with non-monogamous antics.
But is being “poly” just the latest pop culture fad, or are there as many real people living in open relationships as there are on TV? We could only guess—that is, before a new study led by Nichole Fairbrother, an assistant professor of psychiatry at the University of British Columbia, came out this month in the Journal of Sex Research.
Fairbrother and her colleagues worked with pollster Ipsos to survey 2,003 Canadians across the country from ages 18–94. The results were striking: four percent of respondents in a romantic partnership said they were in an open relationship. One-fifth of all participants reported previously having been in one. And more than one in ten (12 percent) said open relationships are their ideal relationship type.
-The group that preferred open relationships tended to skew younger and more male (respondents were not asked about their sexual orientation). “Relationship satisfaction did not differ significantly between monogamous and open relationships,” said the report. Here, we talk to Fairbrother about Canada’s poly communities—and how they navigate love.
Is society moving away from monogamy as an ideal?
Nichole Fairbrother: We now hear more about [open relationships] in the news. I’d put money on this now being more common than it was, but we don’t have the data to truly answer that question.
What I find really fascinating is that among people in relationships, four percent are in open relationships, but 12 percent say it’s their ideal. What that suggests to me is that there are a lot of people who might really like to be, but are not. What are the barriers to those types of relationships?
what do consensual non-monogamous relationships look like? How do you find a way that works for you?
There’s a really broad range of diversity in how people construct open relationships …. I believe that taking baby steps offers people the opportunity to experience what they’ve been afraid of, and observe that nothing terrible happens. It offers the ability to confront their fears at manageable levels. Sometimes you see people opening up from completely monogamous to fully polyamorous overnight, like, “Now we’re going to start dating other people!” when they’ve never even flirted with someone else in front of their partner before. I’ve seen people for whom that triggers so much fear and distress.
There is fear around it. You often hear stories of open relationships gone bad and think, “What a terrible idea.”
It’s really interesting, because what happens when a person in a monogamous relationship has that end? We’ll say, “That’s so sad, what went wrong?” When a person in an open relationship [experiences a breakup], people say, “Well, you were in an open relationship, I’m not surprised.” Without any further inquiry, there’s an assumption made that the relationship ended because it was open.
What else can people struggling with their own more traditional relationships take away from this?
I hope that the research we conduct on open relationships will also benefit people in monogamous relationships. In our culture, I think many people believe that if they truly love someone they won’t experience attraction to anyone else. Perhaps, if our research makes it easier to accept that attraction outside one’s couple can happen, it may make it easier for couples to talk about it when it does. Hopefully, our research will help to make conversations about open relationships and attraction outside one’s couple easier to have.
One thinks for sure we do know this isn't necessarily a new thing or a new fad let's look at the 70s & 80s
’70s were free to love, suburban suffocation, and feminism on the rise. All over America, people were reexamining relationships and marriage. To our randy friends south of the border, they say winging might have spun out of the organized partner swapping of U.S. military pilots blossomed during the decade along with communal living, gay liberation, and extra-legal domestic partnerships—all attempts to break the numbing shackles of button-down lifestyles.
Swinging, sometimes called wife-swapping, husband-swapping, or partner-swapping, is a sexual activity in which both singles and partners in a committed relationship sexually engage with others for recreational purposes. [
Swinging is a form of non-monogamy and is an open relationship. People may choose a swinging lifestyle for a variety of reasons. Practitioners cite an increased quality and quantity of sex. Some people may engage in swinging to add variety into their otherwise conventional sex lives or due to their curiosity. Some couples see swinging as a healthy outlet and means to strengthen their relationship
Unlike in the years before when things were very hush-hush and hidden, there are an abundance of different online groups that couples may join if they fancy
But there are a few things you need to know 1st
If you’re thinking of hitting up a swingers club, either solo or with a partner, here’s what you need to know
According to a writer in “Thought Catalog Mag”
The first time I went to a swingers club I was terrified. I had no clue how my partner and I would:
-Find another couple to have sex with and then
- Actually do it.
1. Not everyone is there to have sex with other people.
Before that first trip, I imagined the club would be one ginormous bed covered with a massive pile of writhing bodies. In the dozens of visits since the vast majority of what I’ve observed is couples having sex with each either as a swap (a couple switches partners) or not (the couple that came together “comes” together).
While you may observe some ménages à trois, quatre and other numbers, the pas de deux is definitely the most common configuration.
2. Not all couples are on the same page.
With many couples, you can tell whose idea it was to come. One person will be looking around excitedly making eye contact or watching others getting it on, while the other will be intensely focusing on their partner, doing their best to forget they are having sex in a semi-public place.
In best-case scenarios, both parties fulfill a shared fantasy of expanding their sexual network. In many real-life scenarios, however, especially among first-timers, one party is more stoked than the other. (For my first visit, I pretty much had to beg my partner to join me as it wasn’t his thing. FYI, he’s no longer my partner.)
If you want to play with a couple or more, always make sure all relevant parties want this as well before diving in.
3. Single women are a rarity.
There’s a term for a single woman in a swingers club: a unicorn. She’s a mythical creature that rarely makes an appearance and when she does, everyone chases her. For this reason, single women often get a substantial discount on the cover charge, if they have to pay at all.
Single men, on the other hand, don’t have it so good. Most clubs allow them to attend only once a week, if that, and at a substantial premium. On these nights, the clubs can be sausage fests: great odds for the single, horny unicorn looking for a solitary mate, but bad odds for the single sausages.
4. Don’t worry too much about what to wear.
I once prefaced a visit to a club with a two-hour $100 hairstyle, a 60-minute make-over at MAC, and a six-hour quest to find the perfect slutty-but-not-too-slutty little black dress. At the end of the night, I had mascara streaking down my face, some serious bedhead, and my clothing had been off for hours.
Definitely take care of your hygiene, but don’t spend too much time sweating what to wear. No matter how much time you spend prepping for the big event, if all goes well, by the end of the night you’ll be a hot mess.
The one exception is theme nights. Whether it’s a back-to-school party, retro 80s night, or cyborgs and aliens theme (something I’ve never seen but would be hella interesting), do your best to come in costume. Costumes make great ice-breakers and in the super-charged sexual atmosphere of a swingers club, most people need all the help making conversation they can get.
5. Play (and by play I mean sex) generally happens in one of two ways.
In theory, it goes like this: You meet a person or another couple at the bar and talk casually for a while. One of you asks the other if they would like to play. If the swinging gods are on everyone’s sides, all parties say yes, negotiate some boundaries, move to a separate room apart from the main bar, and the festivities commence.
While the above does frequently happen, play can also happen like this: you and your partner are already getting it on in the part of the club where the sex takes place, and another party sits down next to you and tries to make eye contact. (Note: this can be unnerving if you aren’t used to random strangers sitting next to you while having sex.)
This “interloper” isn’t just taking a break. He, she or they are hoping you will ask them to join you.
If the swinging gods are on their side, you say yes, and you continue getting it on with a new variable thrown into the mix. If not, a polite “We’re just playing with each other,” should send them on their way.
6. You will at some point get rejected and that’s okay.
Finding one person you are attracted to is hard enough. Finding two people that both you and your partner are attracted to adds a whole new level of complexity.
I’ve rejected men who wanted me to play with their wives, couples who wanted to buy my partner and my drinks, and an older woman who, in the middle of what I thought was a platonic conversation, stuck her tongue in my ear.
I’ve also been rejected by plenty of men whose partners didn’t want them playing with me and/or who didn’t want to play with my partner. Don’t take it personally. It seldom is.
7. You don’t have to be a porn star to have good sex.
Sometimes at swingers clubs, there is an unspoken pressure to behave like a porn star. As a result, you hear all these groans of pleasure and the occasional dirty talk, but very rarely things like “Owe!” or “Is this working?” or “I need to pee.”
But that’s not how sex in real life works. In real life, sex can make funny noises, sex can be uncomfortable at certain angles, sex can make you laugh, and sometimes sex doesn’t go quite the way you planned it.
Now if you planned on having company over for a “special Event’”
Black Donnelly Radio & The Mixcloud charts House DJ
AKA Shane Hockett
has made a return with a brand new
Highview show
Dedicated to
“The 80s Swingers club, packed full of 80s
Hey gang, welcome back up to the HIGHVIEW!
after a little boogie when this mix takes place, during a quick climb through the couches
of an 80's swingers club., open format for open minds
all the best to you this 2022 play safe -
do come back soon!. RNS
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